Florence and The Machinist

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook describing his thoughts on the Florence and the Machine performance on SNL. He wasn’t impressed. Frankly, neither was I; so I responded.

And, of course, I couldn’t pass up a perfectly good Photoshopping opportunity:

florence-and-the-machinist

The dog days may be over, but the days of lame puns and poor Florence being dogged for her often annoying over-singing are not.

Gordon Keith jac(lyn)s off

If you live in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex and are not a tool, then you surely listen to 1310 The Ticket. And if you listen to 1310 The Ticket then you know of Gordon Keith, one of the hosts of The Musers in the morning.

Some people seem to be constantly annoyed by Gordo (George Dunham comes to mind), but I find him to be consistently hilarious.

This morning he delivered a simple yet certifiably laugh-out-loud line while running through today’s birthdays. I will share it with you below in the form of a quick photo story.

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I bet this car rarely leaves the left lane

Because thou shall not pass…

gandalf-license-plateImage source: Imgur via Reddit

Clever Car Thief Caught on Camera

Gotta admit…this is pretty ingenious.

This sign at a shoe repair store really shines

It is also laced with puns.

shoe-repair-signImage source: Imgur via Reddit

What other shoe-related puns can you come up with? Comment below.

Elmer Fudd’s Ferrari

Image source: Imgur via Reddit

And I’ll just leave this here for anyone too young to understand the reference:

Talking dirty never tasted so good.

creative-foreplayImage source: Imgur via Reddit

See, some Apples do actually support Windows quite well

apples-windowsImage source: Imgur via Reddit

When I finally have a kid, we’re wearing these shirts in public.

Often.

my-baby-is-the-shit-t-shirtImage source: Reddit

Funny Billboard: Help Him Find His Way

A friend of mine snapped this picture. Her caption: “I thought this was too funny. Only in Austin :)”

brazilian-bikini-laser-hair-removal-billboard

 

You’re going to have to be more specific…

post-no-billsImage Source: Imgur via Reddit

These two silly folks are a couple of boobs.

couple-of-boobsImage source: Here via Reddit

They are also a very, very clever Halloween costume. Well played you two. You giant pair of boobs.

Look! An original picture at the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

leaning-tower-of-pisa-original-pictureImage source: Imgur via Reddit

Dave Barry’s Brilliant Take on Meetings

dave-barry-meetings-quote

Italics and Bold

Just saw this on Reddit and lol’d. Yes, I’m a sucker for cheesy Internet humor.

italicsImage source: Izismile via Reddit

&

boldImage source: Imgur via Reddit

Louis CK: “Is the speed of light too slow for you?”

louis-ck-everything-is-amazing-nobody-is-happy

Randomly happened upon one of my favorite Louis CK rants this morning – his epic appearance on Conan from a few years back – and decided that, after the success of the Drew Carey quote I posted, I had to highlight one of Louis’ most astute observations.

If you have never seen the complete segment on Conan, a) what the hell is wrong with you? and b) watch it below.

———-

Drew Carey speaks the truth

drew-carey-hate-your-job-support-group-everybody-quoteImage source: Time.com / Quote source: ThinkExist.com

Story Behind This Image

I made this and posted it to Reddit to correct this error. The above quote, which is obviously awesome, was erroneously attributed to George Carlin. And while Carlin said many brilliant funny things, so it’s reasonable to assume he might had said this, it isn’t true. Credit should be given where it is due, and Drew Carey gets the credit for this one.

Plaintive Pint Glass

It knows how you feel.

plaintive-pint-glassImage source: Imgur via Reddit

The last sip is always a sad one. (Bartender!)

The Egypt situation summed up in a single-frame cartoon

Well, at least how Americans view the situation in Egypt.

egypt-political-cartoon
Image source: Imgur via Reddit

Well that works out well.

real-eyes-graffitiImage source: Imgur via Reddit