10 Canine Commandments

10-canine-commandmentsImage source: Tumblr via Reddit

Very well said. I think these canine commandments should be read and understood by anyone who is thinking of getting a dog. It is both a responsibility and a tremendous privilege. Dogs are awesome.


  1. Gay.

  2. Seriously? That’s all you can say? “Gay?” I take you are not a dog owner?

  3. totally agree, this should be a mandatory read before you’re allowed to own a dog.

  4. Everybody in any position to adopt a dog to someone else should make the potential owner take this home as a reminder. I see too many dog “owners” who do not remember these basics.

  5. My golden is 9 years old and #10 just makes me sad and reminds us all that the years are numbered.

  6. SO gay

  7. Pretty fucking gay.

  8. Anonymous says:

    I agree with Wow.


  9. Yup, gay!

  10. How alarming that the first comment on this is of “Gay”.

    All ten of these are good commandments for dog owners, and I have to say tugged at my heart strings a little thinking about dogs I’ve owned in the past.

    Anyone considering owning a dog should learn and take to hear all ten of these points – the owner IS the centre of the dog’s world, and dog’s love their owners unconditionally if raised properly.

    I love dogs 😀

  11. Anonymoose says:

    seriously? i thought it was cute
    i’ve had my dog 12 years and every one of these points is important and true
    go troll somewhere else

  12. Admin, just ignore those two. They’ll be grounded as soon as their parents get home from bingo and see that they’ve spent all day trolling on the internet and making stupid comments rather than doing their homework.

    The post was lovely and bittersweet. I’ve had the privilege of living with three incredibly sentient, loyal and loving dogs over the years and I know my life would not have been nearly as rewarding if I’d never known them. A copy of the Commandments should be included with every set of shelter pet adoption papers. Thanks for taking the time to post them.

  13. You should have added or mention a rule base. Canines love rules! Wolves are able to to survive relatively easily because they have a concept of rules and roles. That each wolf has a job and role in the pack. Dogs are very similar! You tell a dog what he/she can and can’t do, and they’ll be thankful. If you get a puppy or they have puppies, they’ll teach the same rules to them. Its incredible easy to tame/train a dog when you have an older dog already trained. Police and sled dog racers heavily use this idea.

  14. Hey Dave, hey anonymous your gay and you will never father children.

  15. You too Chip. What kind of name is Chip? Oh yeah. Gay.

  16. Gay. I own 4 dogs, and yes it is gay. Because we dog owners, we OWN them. If you feel the need to talk to a dog, buy a parrot instead; at least he will repeat everything you say, so you can hear yourself. What you are saying to an animal. That understands exactly nothing of what you have said to him. If he really understands something, is because you have beaten the s*it out of him previously.

  17. you shit nielu 256

  18. Gay. God this is so gay. This isn’t going to change anybody’s views if they mistreat their pets. “Oh, I was mistreating my dog for the past 5 years, but now that I’ve just read this stupid piece of shit on the internet, I’m going to totally change my behaviour!”. Nonsense. Dogs don’t understand what you’re saying to them. Dogs only respond to certain commands because they’ve been taught that they’ll get a reward if they do.

  19. poor dogs to have you for owner

  20. Wow, I really appreciate the comments from the “gay” guys.
    For a minute there, I was getting all misty thinking I had some kind
    of emotional connection to my dog. Thank goodness there are people
    in the world who have a clear view of how things “really are” and can
    snap the rest of us back in line when we start getting all starry-eyed and

    I sure hope they’ll be commenting on other subjects I’m interested in.
    I’ll want to be sure I’m thinking correctly.

  21. that girl says:

    Good god people, Gary has all the answers! I’m sure the years he’s spent as an animal handler who understands the mechanisms of how a dog’s brain works and the emotional and physical responses they give and all his experience working with vets, trainers, and shelters is the basis of his trolling comments.

  22. my gran always said dogs are pack animals, because people are more intelligent they look at you as the pack leader, also dogs see in black and white, sheep dogs german sheppards aka allsasians and poodles are the most intelligent, dogs understand tone of voice over words and understand ALL tone of voice that people say- my gran used to say to her dog all horrible ” i love you you stupid little thing” like as if she was shouting and chleo would cower and hide then imediately after speaking really nicely say ” you little shit you arnt you” and shed wag her tail… so its all about tone of voice

  23. So mega, ultra-gay

  24. Isometric says:

    The worst part about getting in a fight with your dog is the make-up sex.

  25. The person who wrote this has a pretty clear bias, and obviously lost a dog to old age. I just thought that was worth noting.

  26. ugh so gay

  27. Inspiring & touching.

  28. And gay.

    Not really. I actually liked it. But you guys need to stop feeding the trolls. The whole point of trolling is to make people mad and get a response, and you totally went for it. Which is gay. (Sorry, I had to.)

  29. Since when is “Gay” an insult? Great list.

  30. gay

  31. Ignore anyone who calls it gay, they just want you to respond.

  32. This is so awesome!

    Oh, and for those who said that this is gay, stop being an insecure bitch and come out of the closet already. It’s offensive to me so do us all a favor and shut the fuck up.

  33. Mr. Clark says:

    L is correct.


  35. §1 I am a dog. Treat me like one.
    §2 I only obey as it is my instinct to obey the leader of the pack
    §3 I only pretend to love you as a part of my instinct
    §4 My mouth smells like death and I eat other dogs shit
    §5 I am an animal and should not be kept indoors
    §6 I will try to f*ck your kids if you don’t yell at me
    §7 Your house will smell
    §8 I am to stupid to use a litterbox
    §9 I will cost you a fortune, give it to the poor instead
    §10 Feed me with choclate and you will do the world a favour

  36. Trolololololol says:


    For sure.

    Really gay.

  37. JustSaying. says:

    It amazes me how inconsiderate people can be. Is there really a need to let everybody know that you think this is gay? if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all. Simple as that.

  38. Excellent article. All these things should be considered before owning a dog. Our dog is well trained, house broken, and very sweet without having to beat her or be mean to her. She has been treated as part of the family. Maybe you people with stupid comments should double check how you treat your dogs, wives, girlfriends or other family members. The “gay” comments only show a great deal of immaturity and/or stupidity.

  39. you MEN call it gay because it is touching, i take this as a compliment to the poster 😀
    i love it <3

  40. the first comment is why i love animals more than people. i would die for a dog before i do it for an idiot like you wow… go fuck yourself you faggot and stop projecting your own repressed sexual desires over the internet.

  41. The poster above is proper letting the side down! Hypocrisy, thy name is AsD….

  42. green to black says:

    to all the people that feel the need to troll on the internet… if you don’t like whatever it is that you can comment on DON’T FUCKING READ,LOOK ,OR WATCH IT it would your and everybody elses life that actually does things because they are interested.. not an huge asshole easier

  43. Mega, ultra, super GAY!!!

  44. The amount of trolling just on this one page is phenomenal. There should be some form of emoticon for “don’t feed the trolls”.

    On topic, cute poster if somewhat sad.

  45. gay

  46. It’s just a dog people. I remember when I was a kid and my first dog was bitten by a snake, he started to look really bad. My Dad make me take my shotgun and go out to the back and shoot him. When I started to cry, he asked me “If a piece of my equipment broke down I wouldn’t cry. I’d man up, sell the scraps and buy a new one.” That’s what a dog is; a piece of equipment. When it’s past its prime, it needs to be disposed of.

    That, and he told me a shotgun shell cost a lot less than a vet doing the same dirty job. He then told me to go clean my shotgun. I miss those days.

  47. Don’t feed the trolls; any response at all means they win.

  48. Gay

  49. DogOwnerCatRoommate says:

    Anybody that doesn’t consider a pet in their home to be a family member shouldn’t have a pet. My friend Ben was with me for 13 years and was with me through some tough times. My friend Jack was with me for 16 years and was always there for me, rain or shine, no matter what. Damn cats just lived with me but I loved them anyway. They’ll never lie to you, never throw you over for someone else, and never ever be anything more or less than what they are.

  50. now that all the gay guys have outed themselves here I guess we should be happy they wont have children. and if they are lucky no dogs either.

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